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November, 2006 Archive

 

Meat Market

So you’re picking out a cut of meat? You’ve been real hungry for a real long time and you’ve decided it’s time to eat. Now, young man, you’ve got choices. Let’s see what’s out there.

You’ll hear a lot about the prime cuts. The filet mignon, the tenderloin. These are the cuts you see on fancy menus, on television, and on the Internet. They seem to get all the attention — celebrity steak. They’re lean, no fat on them. They look good at a restaurant when the guy next to you has one. They dress up nicely, are always in style. These steaks turn heads. On the road to pick up your own you learn that if you want this steak, you are going to pay for it. Once you get it home, you’ve built it up to be the greatest thing to ever cross your lips. You take it out of the package and it looks good. It’s lean, it’s soft, it’s got great color. Now it’s done and sitting on your plate. Something is wrong. It doesn’t look as good or as exotic as the one that guy at the restaurant had, as the one on TV did. You did OK, but the whole process was stressful, you were racked with self doubt and kept thinking you were going to ruin it. The whole time a thought was lingering: this wasn’t worth the money. It’s not the meat’s fault, it’s impossible to live up to the hype. These are the special occasion steaks, the ones you pick up if you want to impress someone. These steaks take so much work to come out right, for day to day eating, it’s just not worth the investment.

What’s the opposite of the prime cut? The economy chuck roast. We’re all guilty of cooking these up from time to time. They’re cheap, readily available, and usually a last minute purchase. You’ve been drinking, you’re hungry, and there it is, right in front of you—how bad can it be? Sure it’s got some more fat, some more gristle, but it’s not always about looks; sometimes you’ve just got to eat. Becareful though because if you eat too much of this you start to forget why you like steak in the first place. There’s not much you can do to dress this meat up, to make it look presentable. The good thing is it’s hard to get wrong—any extra effort is a waste of time because it’s still going to come out mediocre at best. This is one-night-stand steak. You would never have it around your friends, and even when you are alone it seems shameful.

Ask any butcher, any chef, any real steak aficionado that’s been working with meat their whole lives and they’ll tell you true happiness lies in the overlooked cuts like flank steak and rib-eye. These are affordable, but still cost enough that you respect them. You start to notice that they were always right there, between the economy chuck roast and the tenderloin. They look great dressed up for a romantic dinner or kicked back for fajitas on a Sunday. This is a steak you can love. It just tastes right. This meat isn’t as lean as the tenderloin but it’s not fatty, it’s healthy. Since it’s not 100% lean it’s not as fragile as the filet; it doesn’t require nearly as much doting or investment. This is the meat you want every day.

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Search Yields 0 Results: Vol. I

Your search – “Once we’re walking around with $800 in spending money we can drop a G on vinegar.” - did not match any documents.

Sometimes I’ll be writing an email or talking on gchat and whatever random thing we’re talking about seems so odd, so unique when taken out of context, that there’s no way it’s ever been typed before. Then I turn to Google and find I’ve forever changed the literary landscape of society. Forever.

I originally got the idea from Dinosaur Comics. Try it yourself! Next time you find yourself typing a quirky sentence, throw it into Google (don’t forget quotes) and see if anyone else has ever written it. The game reminds me of Natalie Portman’s character in Garden State—doing something random just for the sake of knowing no one else had ever done it before. Start your legacy today!

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