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'Food' Archive

The things that really defy any categorization. Usually of the strange, or immature nature.

Your 16oz Maple and Sage? I don’t eat that, I’m not from The North.

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Devoted Customer Upset Jimmy Dean Downsized Sausage 16oz To 12oz But Charges Same Price.

This is the greatest thing I’ve heard in awhile. This poor Texan just wants to feed his plump wife and 600lbs of men in his home. How could you Jimmy Dean?

PS. Those Jimmy Dean “Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick” are the nastiest thing I’ve ever seen. Chocolate and ground meat never go together.

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Remember When I Said I Wouldn’t be Food Blogging?


A little while ago I exposed the virtues of not blogging about food. Well, in signature fashion I’ve done as I do, not as I say and am now, in fact, working (to some extent) as a food blogger. I am, as of yesterday, one of four interns for Adam Roberts over at The Amateur Gourmet. Prestigious? You bet!

What does it mean? Well, time will tell. For the immediate I’m helping out on the site (I designed the fresh to death intro graphic for the four of us) and doing some write-ups. My first two assignments are under way. There’s more in the future–mainly attending dining events in NYC that Adam cannot make and writing them up after.

Why would I want to be an intern? Why wouldn’t I? It’s a chance to validate the already inordinate amount of time I spend thinking, writing, and talking about food and to do so on a platform that puts my writing in front of a lot more eyes than a blog I started on my own. Plus, I can’t imagine that knowing Adam will be a bad thing.

So check out the introductory post and skim the site if you aren’t already a fan. In the interest of self promotion I’ll probably post here whenever I have posted there.

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New Dessert: Papá Noel Jello

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In honor of The Next Iron Chef and the contestants’ alternative desserts, I created a Christmas-colored version of Jello Salad. In my search for deliciousness that isn’t fatty or loaded with sugar I’ve been turning more and more to spices and hot peppers. I turned out a sugar free Jello cup into a bowl and put a cannelle of sugar-free Cool Whip on top. Total calories: about 20. That didn’t sell it for me though. So I deveined and seeded a Poblano pepper, cut it into brunoise, and sprinkled it over the top. It was a nice texture contrast but lacked a little heat. I would probably leave the veins in next time or, better yet, devein and seed a jalapeno or serrano. Then I could go monochrome if I wanted or switch it up with green Jello and a red pepper.

Speaking of spice, I learned a valuable lesson today. Chopped beef Mai Fun soup mixed with a teaspoon of Sriracha sauce and a whole serrano cut thin yields a soup so G-D-spicy that it makes you cough and sweat, but in a good way. My mouth was numb for a good hour after. It was only a glass of apple cider that helped. Looks like Scoville was right.

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Gourmet Grilled Cheese Sandwiches are the New Mini-Sliders

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Applebees has sliders on their menu. I think it’s safe to put a bullet in that trend and give it a proper burial. It had gotten to the point where you couldn’t pick up a cooking magazine without finding a recipe for “gourmet sliders”. Blame Daniel Boulud, blame Walter Anderson, blame whomever you want, I’m just glad the fad is over.

Now, before we’ve even had time to mourn the passing of this mediocre craze, a new one is rearing it’s ugly head. And that head is made of cheese. Grilled cheese. First the New York Times talked about grilled cheese culture in LA. Then the owners of The Bourgeois Pig got involved. Now it’ll only be a matter of time before Wylie Dufresne or David Chang starts adding “Upscale Grilled Cheese”—in the form of a deconstructed “Grilled Cheese Fondue” and a “Cubano Asiático: Grilled Cheese with Pork and Pickles” respectively—to their menus.

Count me out already. I don’t want to pay $20 for 10oz of melted fontina and manchego no matter how much its aged or what kind of life the organic fromagier lived while making it. Let’s just fast-forward to the Friday’s version and get the trend over with.

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The Ripper to the Rescue

RipertWhat would you do if you knew you were never going to taste anything ever again? If you’re like this man then you’d go to all your favorite New York City restaurants one last time. What, then, would you do about securing a reservation at uber-trendy Le Bernardin? It seems you’d be taken care of by head chef Eric Ripert who is cooking a multi-course meal for the desperate foodie before his impending operation. Check out the personalized “Doomsday” menu:

Fluke
White-Soy-Yuzu-Marinated Fluke; Seaweed and Spiced “Rice Crispies”
Riesling, Château Bela, Slovakia 2003

Lobster
Warm Poached Lobster; Sweet-Pea-Verbena Mousseline; Chilled Grapefruit Broth
Mas de Daumas Gassac, Vin de Pays de L’Hérault 2006

Calamari
Sautéed Calamari Filled With Sweet Prawns and Wood-Ear Mushroom; Calamari Consommé
Grüner Veltliner Federspiel, Emmerich Knoll, Austria 2005

Wild Salmon
Barely Cooked Wild Alaskan Salmon; Daikon, Snow Peas, and Enoki Salad; Sweet-Pea-Wasabi Sauce
Muscat Grand Cru Speigel, Jean Pierre Dirler, Alsace 2003

Turbot
Wild Turbot; Shiso-Maitake Salad; Lemon-Miso Broth
Puligny Montrachet le Trézin, Marc Colin 2004

Escolar
White Tuna Poached in Extra-Virgin Olive Oil; Sea Beans and Potato Crisps; Light Red Wine Béarnaise
Vosne Romanée 1er Cru Les Beaux Monts, Daniel Rion 2001

Apricot
Roasted Apricots, Black-Sesame Panna Cotta, Cherry Granité, Soy Caramel
Tokaij Aszu 5 Puttonyos, Disznoko, Hungary 1999

“Egg”
Milk Chocolate Pot de Crème, Caramel Foam, Maple Syrup, Maldon Sea Salt

What a lucky guy. Ripert seems like a class act too, it’s really great of him to offer this. The question now would be, is it worth potentially losing your sense of taste forever if it means you get a special meal cooked by Ripert?

If Ripert looks or sounds familiar it might be his dual appearances on Top Chef this season. He was guest judge on last week’s Aspen show and he didn’t care too much for Bryan’s choice to let the diner choose the cheese.

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